Ode to Ryan Theriot

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As you know, former Cubs legend and recently crowned World Series champion Ryan Theriot was non-tendered by the Cardinals last month.  It shouldn’t be that hard for a former Cubs legend of grit and scrappiness to get a job.

Of course, I’m being a bit facetious.  Ryan Theriot was useful in the beginning of his Cubs career, but then for some reason he decided he was a power hitter and forgot that it was possible to take a walk every now and then.  He also liked to run himself into outs on the bases, so much so that an acronym was invented by former Cubs blogger wrigleyville23 in his honor.  It even made Ron Santo sad…

Thanks to Suburban Kid over at Obstructed View for that video. It still makes me laugh to this day.  And thankfully, Jim Hendry had the foresight to get rid of Theriot before he completely sucked.  Similarly, the Cardinals finally realized that Theriot wasn’t the middle infielder they were looking for and got rid of him.  Now the former Cubs legend is looking for work.  Will he find it?  Well, there are some interested parties…

At some point, the Rockies thought they were interested.  But they have better options, so maybe not.

The Reds might be interested too, but it seems Theriot is their Plan Z.

The Reds have had conversations with Ryan Theriot’s representatives. But nothing is close. “We’re trying to get a hitter first,” Jocketty said.

Damn, Walt.  Harsh.  The Rays had some interest too, but then Andrew Friedman remembered that he was smart.  So scratch that idea.  Who else?  Well, for some reason the Braves were mentioned as a possible suitor, but as stated in the article, they’d be better served with a good defensive shortstop.  Double ouch.

There are certain players that I’d personally like to see do well when they leave the Cubs.  For example, it sucked that Mark DeRosa had to leave and then got hurt, but he ultimately snagged us Matt Garza so whatever.  It was good to see Derrek Lee do well for Atlanta once he was traded, although we pretty much figured he was getting older and was in decline so the trade wasn’t a big deal.  Aramis Ramirez will probably have a couple decent seasons with the Brewers.

But Ryan Theriot kind of came off as a douchebag when he was traded from the Cubs and then landed with the Cardinals.  He never actually realized how bad of a player he had become and had this air of arrogance that made Cubs fans want to beat him with his own bat (the bat wasn’t doing much anyway so needed to be put to some use).  Yeah, he has a World Series ring, but that was in spite of him, and he still sucks.  And some of the GM and media comments about how he can’t hit or field are very amusing.

Usually I don’t care about this kind of petty stuff, but this development is unusually satisfying for me.  I think I’m allowed to be a bit of a meathead fan every now and then though.

About Rice Cube

Rice Cube is the executive vice president of snark at World Series Dreaming. He loves all things Cubs, with notable exceptions (specifically, the part of Cubs fandom that pisses him off). Follow on Twitter at cubicsnarkonia

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