The Cubs didn’t suck as much as Anno thought they would

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The Cubs won.  But that’s not what this blog is about.

This blog is about vindication.  It’s about faith.  It’s about telling Anno he was dead wrong about the Cubs sucking complete ass when they only sort of suck ass.  Because I just totally won my gentlemen’s bet.  That’s right, the Cubs actually scored 70 runs in April.  And April has three days and three games left.

Oh, if you were wondering about the featured picture, just go rent/buy/steal Hot Tub Time Machine and watch it.  You will not be disappointed.

Anyway…the Cubs, in 20 games (of 23 possible in April pending rainouts or Armageddon) have scored 71 runs, for a 3.55 runs per game average.  They only had to score a smidge over 3 runs per game for me to make my quota.  We didn’t actually do the over/under right as I guess we had to do a 69.5 over/under rather than a 70, but the 71 makes the point moot.  I overtook that quota with three games to go, though I did think I would get there earlier this week.  More on that later.

Anyway…the Cubs have not been shut out in a game yet this season.  They have scored at least one run in all 20 games they have played so far.  They’ve been outhomered by Matt Kemp and Josh Hamilton so far, but have strung together enough hits or taken advantage of enough errors and other miscues to push that one run across.  They’ve smacked around perennial aces like Zack Greinke and Adam Wainwright.  There was literally no reason for me to fear losing this bet.  Baseball is partially based on random variance and I pretty much counted on the Cubs randomly smacking around some pitcher (surprise surprise) here and there, and definitely being better than last year’s Seattle Mariners.  Scoring more than three runs a game was pretty much a given.

Or so I thought.  If you check the statistics so far (prior to tonight’s game), the Cubs were the 7th worst overall offense (by total runs) in the majors.  The worst offense is by the Pittsburgh Pirates, who had scored 41 runs before tonight (an abysmal 2.28 runs per game) and only scored one run in their loss tonight.  Offense seems relatively suppressed across the league as seven teams are worse than the aforementioned 2011 Mariners (based on runs per game).  Anno could very well have been right.  But he wasn’t.

So yeah.  The Cubs still suck, but they didn’t suck as much as Anno thought they would.  O ye of little faith.

Notice that I didn’t say the Cubs would be awesome; I merely said they’d score more than 70 runs.  So now is the time in Sprockets when we dance.  Huzzah!

About Rice Cube

Rice Cube is the executive vice president of snark at World Series Dreaming. He loves all things Cubs, with notable exceptions (specifically, the part of Cubs fandom that pisses him off). Follow on Twitter at cubicsnarkonia

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