Rebuilding!

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Okay, Cubs fans, we tried very hard to let you know that expectations shouldn’t be too high for this season’s MLB squad.  I’m not sure how else to say it except that the club is in a major rebuild phase, which means they have to level the building and start new construction from the ground up.  The MLB Cubs aren’t going to be good.  Considering the state of the farm system, the minor league Cubs aren’t going to be all that good either.  I feel like bad baseball is still more enjoyable than no baseball though, which is why we suffer so that you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Because the Cubs are investing more in the foundation than the top floor penthouse at the moment, that’s why you see the Cubs go through a 12-game losing streak before a hard-fought sweep of the worst team in the majors.  The offense sucks even if they did score 70+ runs in April and May.  The pitching is good, the bullpen is the last thing to care about if your team isn’t going to win much anyway, and the defense seems to have improved, so there’s that.  So leave your expectations at the door, enjoy the fun-bad baseball, and bask in the glory of another Cubs-themed parody!

Rebuilding

A parody of Free Falling by Tom Petty

It’s a cruel world, with our Cubbies
No pennants since World War Two
Now we’ve got Theo and Jed Hoyer
They’ve got a lot of work to do

Too few assets, not enough depth here
New CBA making quick fix hard
At least there’s money coming off the books now
Now the Cubs get off to a new start

‘Cause they’re reeeeee…rebuildin’
Yeah they’re reeeee…rebuildin’

Trading veterans, gradin’ some new draftees
More upside, hitting baseballs hard
And the bad players are traded for new prospects
All the good ones…well we’re not quite that far

‘Cause they’re reeeeee…rebuildin’
Time for reeeee…rebuildin’

Moving the names down and up the draft board
Scouting some Cubans, should sign this guy
Cubs need a rebuild, return to contending
That’s why they’re gonna suck for awhile

‘Cause they’re reeeeeeee…rebuildin’
Yeah they’re reeeee…rebuildin’
(repeat)

About Rice Cube

Rice Cube is the executive vice president of snark at World Series Dreaming. He loves all things Cubs, with notable exceptions (specifically, the part of Cubs fandom that pisses him off). Follow on Twitter at cubicsnarkonia

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