Let’s see, we had some words from Theo Epstein today, and the playoffs are about to get started. We can talk about any number of things, but if I’ve learned anything over the past few years of running this page and site, it’s that Cubs fans are a diverse lot. It’s this diversity that makes conversations wonderful and also makes you want to put your fist through your monitor and straight into another Cub fan’s face. The differences in opinions and philosophy can be maddening yet educational. It’s quite a dichotomy when you sit back and think about it. We’ve already thanked you for following our blog through this trying season, and the hundred other ones before it, so consider this another thank you as a celebration of the idiosyncrasies of Cubdom. Onward!
Top Ten List
Ten Types of Cubs Fans
1. The Know-It-All
The Know-It-All, well, knows it all. Or at least they think they do. Every opinion that is contrary to their own is automatically idiotic. The Know-It-All does have excellent knowledge and one can learn from this fan, thus making them an integral part of the community, but conversations are strained at best because the Know-It-All often has an abrasive attitude.
2. The Eternal Optimist
The Eternal Optimist refuses to give up even when the Cubs are mathematically eliminated. This fan always looks for the next three-game win streak (whenever that happens) and thinks it’s a sign from the baseball gods that the team is about to turn a corner. While misguided, the Eternal Optimist’s enthusiasm and positivity is a shining beacon in the otherwise gloomy bog of fail that the Cubs often find themselves in.
3. The Grumpy Old Man
The Grumpy Old Man (or woman, but usually it’s a Statler/Waldorf type) is a fan who has been following the Cubs forever and has had enough after always waiting for next year. Well, it IS next year. Get off my lawn. Everything sucks.
4. The Reminiscent
The Reminiscent thinks about the good ol’ days when guys like Mark Grace and Ryne Sandberg and Andre Dawson used to be around, and wants to bring everyone back for a party and for coaching jobs whether they are qualified for it or not. This fan is useful for reminding us that there used to be good players on the team, and while we have to explain why Old Time Cub X isn’t coming back, it’s fun to think about those boys of summer anyway.
5. The Luddite
As a statistically-leaning blog, we often run into the Luddite, who thinks everything done with a spreadsheet is a curse from the Devil. The Luddite is the champion of the scrappy white guy and intangibles and doesn’t buy into the fancy-schmancy “new math” that says that Tony Campana actually sucks at baseball. The Luddite is also an important part of the community because they give us fodder to write blogs about.
6. The Large Market Guy
The Large Market Guy believes that there is no reason for the Cubs to ever rebuild because they have money. This fan wants the Cubs to spend spend spend no matter what because they can, not necessarily because it’s wise. While the Cubs should use their financial superiority to their advantage, Large Market Guy does not understand that sometimes spending to get from 70 to 80 wins still means you miss the playoffs, but the attitude is important to have because at some points the Cubs should spend and lay waste to the rest of the National League.
7. The Video-Game GM
The Video-Game GM believes that trades happen at the click of a button. They are going to flip former Cub legends like Koyie Hill for super-prospects and force the Dodgers to take on the remaining bajillion dollars of Alfonso Soriano‘s contract. This fan doesn’t understand that there are common sense and transactional obstacles in real life that prevent his ideas, but does provide plenty of interesting discussion points.
8. The Former Player
The Former Player may appear arrogant at times because obviously you have to have played baseball to understand baseball, but does provide plenty of insight into how the game is supposed to be played, including positioning, how to pitch and hit properly, etc.
9. The Casual Fan
This fan pays almost no attention despite the 20 stories we posted that day about Transaction X and that forces us to have to repeat what was already said. But every team and blog needs the Casual Fan, so thanks for following us!
10. The Homer
The Homer believes that everything that is said negatively about the Cubs is treason and we should be executed despite putting forth constructive criticism. The Homer is essential because they serve as a barometer for us to remain as objective as we can.
Thanks for following World Series Dreaming. Someday we’ll go all the way.