Ricketts’ Wrecking Ball

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I admit that this is a bit of a stretch. Wait, no it’s not. Tom Ricketts and the Chicago Cubs are literally tearing Wrigley Field apart and while they’re not using real wrecking balls (they do have to protect the ivy-covered brick walls!) this was one of the images that popped into my head while I was supposed to be working on lesson plans for chemistry class. Ha! You guys probably know the song…

Several things come to mind, including how big Miley Cyrus’ teeth are and also why she had to be all nekkid at some point in the video. I mean, she’s an attractive enough young woman but I don’t think I’ve ever seen such awkward nudity in a music video before. And why are you licking that sledgehammer? That don’t even make sense, kid!

So I set about to do a quickie Photoshop.  Not my best work, unfortunately, but I’m just cracking myself up today.

I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEEEEEEEEEECKING BAAAAAAAAAAAAALL
I CAME IN LIKE A WREEEEEEEEEEEEEECKING BAAAAAAAAAAAAALL

You can see where I didn’t clip away the edges of the existing images, and I also didn’t exactly do my best to blank out the previous image to show the wreckage through Miley Ricketts’ arms and legs, but whatever, you get the idea. And why stop there? Might as well go full parody on this thing.

Tom Ricketts’ Wrecking Ball

To the tune of “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus

 

Rooftops complained, Tom Tunney’s lame
We still got our seven signs
Our lawyers tell them to go to hell
Sue us? Go ahead and try

CHORUS 1

Don’t you ever say we didn’t want to play
Fair to work out with you
You just wanna cry, “Poaching our sight lines!”
Now I won’t care ’bout you

CHORUS 2

I came in with a wreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeecking baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall
Gonna build up the TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIANGLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE
Then I’m gonna go and EXPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS
Oh I’m gonna wreck Wri-i-igley
Yeah, gonna wreck Wrigley

I bode my time but you decide
That you’re, you’re not backing down
Our fortunes turned, the buyout’s spurned
And now, you’re gonna get shut down

CHORUS 1
CHORUS 2

CHORUS 3

I came in with RETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINING WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS
Kept digging while FOO FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTERS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNG
Next week do the same to RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT FIELD WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS
Oh I’m gonna wreck Wri-i-igley
Yeah, gonna wreck Wrigley

I never meant to start a war
I would’ve let you still look in
But you wanted to beat that horse
Now you know that you just can’t win
I never meant to start a war
I would’ve let you still look in
I guess now it’s me who wins

Don’t you ever say we didn’t want to play
Fair to work out with you

CHORUS 2
CHORUS 3 to fade

 Yeah, gonna wreck Wrigley…

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About Rice Cube

Rice Cube is the executive vice president of snark at World Series Dreaming. He loves all things Cubs, with notable exceptions (specifically, the part of Cubs fandom that pisses him off). Follow on Twitter at cubicsnarkonia

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