I have no idea who started this going, but Cubs Twitter started talking about Quantum Leap the other night. As you may know, Quantum Leap was a very good science fiction television program some 20+ years ago starring Scott Bakula, who you may also remember played the captain on the most recent Star Trek series and also the manager on the Major League movie nobody talks about. The premise of the show is that the scientist hops into different people’s bodies and minds through different periods of time, always trying to find his way home. So you can imagine the possibilities here for us at Team WSD…and if it actually gets Dab to write something for us again, well it certainly can’t be bad!
WORLD SERIES DREAMING PRODUCTIONS
The Kris Bryant Chronicles
Somewhere in the southwest desert of America, Kris Bryant was at bat. Having already sent one ball into low orbit (let’s say it was this game), Bryant waited for the next pitch. As he made contact with the ball a blue mist surrounded him, the ball and bat connection releasing a tremendous amount of energy that ripped a hole in the fabric of space time.
…and suddenly, Bryant finished his backswing but didn’t feel the impact of bat meeting ball. In fact, as he swung through a pitch, he looked up at the scoreboard and realized that he had struck out for the fifth time this game. Bryant was incredibly confused, as this was Boise, when he began his professional career shortly after being drafted. He thought he had left this place a long time ago, just as Chicago had left Boise for the Eugene Emeralds.
While he sat and pondered what was going on, Chicago Cubs President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein appeared as a hologram to tell him that the ball Bryant hit in Arizona had a core made of quantanium, an experimental compound with the intention of increasing offense in baseball. The insane bat speed and power was what caused him to jump back in time. Somehow, Theo explained, the timeline had been altered; in this timeline Bryant never adjusts and flames out in A ball. Bryant has to crush some more baseballs to make his next leap.
Back at his Boise apartment, Bryant looked in the mirror and saw himself. But Theo again appeared, consulting with Jed Hoyer on his quantum communication device that looked remarkably like a smartphone, and told him that he was actually Golden Globe-winning actor Scott Bakula, perceivable only by Theo and certain children of the 90s who used to watch Quantum Leap. Bakula was going to have to help Kris Bryant and the Cubs fix history so that their World Series journey could begin anew.
After Bakula/Bryant finally adjusted to his surroundings, he started slapping the ball around and then, as he unleashed the first of many home runs that Bryant was supposed to have hit at Boise…
…he jumped and realized he was running down Addison Street, in front of Wrigley Field. Bakula/Bryant dropped his bat after the backswing smashed a nearby Starbucks window. An alarm went off. Bakula/Bryant muttered an “Oh, boy” as he scampered away from the scene of the crime.
Safely out of distance of the unexpected wreckage, Theo again appeared while consulting Jed to explain the situation. Jed confirmed that this was the Starbucks that Theo Epstein was spotted at in 2011. In this timeline, Theo has a change of heart with more time to consider the change and decides to stay in Boston. They would have to find a way for Theo in this timeline to be spotted in Chicago.
Bakula/Bryant decides to keep smashing windows with his bat while disguised as a North Side frat boy as he knew that the contemporary version of Theo would be around, and that Theo’s natural curiosity would make him want to investigate. Theo followed the trail of glass and associated wreckage towards the Starbucks a couple blocks down, and as Bakula/Bryant prepared to smash yet another window, the 2011 Theo was spotted by Cubs beat writers, allowing for yet another jump…
…in which Bakula/Bryant appears in a Tennessee uniform in the field. A baseball almost immediately bounced off Bryant’s glove as he became aware of what was happening. Between pitches, Theo appeared in the field as the pitcher began to wind up again. Theo explained that in this timeline, Kris Bryant’s defensive woes begin to affect him on offense and he never develops as a full time player at the major league level.
Bakula/Bryant realized that they would have to do some defensive drills and improve in a series of games to prevent the defensively-driven flameout from happening. After several Gold Glove-caliber plays in the field to keep the Tennessee Smokies in the game, a majestic game-winning homer is smacked into the night…
…but his next leap was into Iowa, where he again was being groomed on defense, but this time shuttling between third base and left field. Bakula/Bryant had to adjust from the hot corner to another corner, but this time his offensive prowess wasn’t affected. Theo appeared in between, explaining that his newfound flexibility on defense would allow him to be a much more valuable commodity and would accelerate his promotion schedule. Bakula/Bryant slammed a home run out of Principal Park, and as he circled the bases, he jumped yet again…
…and it was at this point that Cubs manager Joe Maddon greeted Scott Bakula, who was himself and not Kris Bryant anymore. Maddon offered him a shot and a beer, and lauded his performances in Quantum Leap and in that Major League movie nobody watched, but that Joe still enjoyed. Maddon explained to Bakula that he was in control of the leaps all along, and that he could allow Kris Bryant make it to Wrigley whenever he wanted. And so, Bakula relinquished his quantum leaping abilities to help others throughout time, as Kris Bryant was allowed, on his own, to leap one last time to find himself at Opening Night at Wrigley Field in Chicago. The timeline had been restored.
This was a collaboration between Rice Cube, Dabynsky (story ideas) and Jesse Jensen (Photoshop skillz). Special thanks to Randall J. Sanders (follow him on Twitter @RandallJSanders) for providing the Bryant cornfield mashups.
Rice – @cubicsnarkonia
Dab – @dabynsky
Jesse – @jjrayn